your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
