Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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