Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
