You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
