you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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