Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
