Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
