he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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