THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
