If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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