Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
