Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Enjoy the penises
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
