just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
