Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have tasted many bathrooms
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
