so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
