So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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