I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
