I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I wear drunk well.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
