I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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