i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
