i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
