Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
