come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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