you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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