and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
