yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
