then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
