fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
