he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
