i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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