Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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