is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
