He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
