I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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