he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
