Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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