i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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