the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
