your room smells of hookers.
And success
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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