dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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