He uses pillows to masturbate.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
