i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
