what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
