I can tuck mytits in my pants
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
