One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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