Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
