you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
