watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
