i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
