no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
