when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
