white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
