Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just want to make out with him forever
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